Most of us don’t know what an healthy relationship is. We compile information from our parents’ and relatives’ relationships, from the media and so on. Sometimes we reproduce the relationships our parents had.
There is no single definition of what it is but here I propose to you a vision of the major points that should have an healthy relationship. Also, most of the points that are contrary imply an unhealthy or even toxic relationship.
We don’t need to have everything perfect, everyone have their own needs and there are infinite possibilities in relationships.
Read all the points until the end where I wrote an important conclusion you might need.
1. You have your own space
You both can grows as individual pursuing your own interest, having your own friends (which can be a precious support during tough times in your relationship).
The relationship will be all the fresher for it, enriched and you’ll avoid getting bored.
2. You make decisions jointly
Small and big decisions are discussed and made together, you decide together about the organisation of the house, finances, education of the kids etc. You listen to each other concerns and desires.
3. You have open discussions
You feel free to talk about any subjects with your partner. There is sincerity and respect in the communication. Deep and regular conversations are essential to build a relationship that lasts in time.
4. You sometimes have argument
Disagreements are natural and should be constructive in a way to find a solution. When you are wrong, acknowledge it and just apologize. No arguments means indifference or supposing that someone is holding back.
5. The relationship is peaceful
You feel confident in your relationship. You don’t feel fear, inferiority or guilt. You are safe to be yourself around your partner.
6. You look for support in your relationship
You don’t only share the good times with your partner. You find support and listening when you face difficulties. It is essential to solve any relationship issue by talking to you partner.
7. The relationships brings you joy
You mainly feel pleasure being in your relationship, you life together is happy in simple ways.
Develop the sense of humor within the relationship and add a lot of laughing and fun, keep playing like kids together.
8. You appreciate each other as you are
You focus more on your partner’s qualities than their weaknesses.
You appreciate the relationship just the way it is.
You cannot base your relationship on the hope that it will change.
9. The relationship is balanced
You give and you receive, you are both contributing equally to the development of your relationship.
You share the household tasks, one of you can do temporarily more than the other when it is necessary but it gets back to normal afterwards.
10. You treat each other kindly
You give attention, kindness and empathy.
Don’t give expecting to receive something in return, give without counting
As it needs to be balanced, you also receive the kindness from your partner.
11. You trust your partner
Opened discussions and authenticity help to build trust
You need to trust each other to have an healthy relationship
Shaken trust requires active, mutual work to rebuild.
12. Let go and forgive
Acknowledge your wrongs and ask for forgiveness in all simplicity.
Accept this from your partner and not poison your life with resentments
Communicate about any issue as soon as possible, talk authentically and learn to let go and forgive each other.
13. You are intimate
You have sexual complicity which is important.
You feel very close to your partner (not only in the bed) having connection through the bonds of friendship, familiarity and tenderness
14. You have an up to date common goal
Take time to talk and set future goals together, having an aim gives motivation and a sense of purpose.
Make sure that you discussed and have the main goals (living in a city or country side, having kids or not etc.)
15. Keep using the 4 magical words
“Please”, “thank you”, “I love you” and “sorry”.
It helps to always keep between each other:
– respect
– forgiveness
– love
If you have some hard points you should consider talking about it to your partner. If it is not possible to you or you did and it didn’t work well, you can always contact me.
An healthy relationship is just beautiful and it is like a garden, it needs a constant and regular care.
Dedicated to your abundance in love, Guillaume